A Bright Spot

Towards the end of last semester, I made a careless scheduling mistake in one of my classes — I miscalculated the number of minutes each student could have for his or her presentation, and it took me a good day to figure out why we kept running out of time. When I explained my error to my students, I told them I didn’t know how I could have come up with those numbers. One of my especially clever students raised her hand and said, “Do you think it has anything to do with your brain shrinking? I read in an article that pregnancy can cause your brain to decrease in size.” Now, of course, I know that science indicates that actual brain size has nothing to do with intelligence or with the brain’s ability to function properly. At the same time, I have to say that pregnancy has, at times, made me feel like part of my brain has gone inactive or shorted out on me. I am usually a very organized, task-oriented person, and all of a sudden, I have turned into a chaotically scatter-brained crazy woman. And the baby isn’t even here yet!
It isn’t just that I haven’t been posting. The holidays were nuts for us — we spent a lot of time away from home and our computers, and then getting back into the rhythm of a school schedule always makes life extra busy at the beginning of a semester — perhaps, it makes sense that I would take a blogging break until I’m in a more regular routine and things have settled down a little. No, the really troubling part of this whole brain chaos is that — I don’t know if I can make myself say this – I don’t really feel like cooking.
I am, of course. Cooking. Just not anything very interesting. I find myself poring over my new, glossy, pretty cookbooks and feeling completely at a loss for how to decide what to make. Part of it is that I am overwhelmed by what is actually happening in the formation of this new little person in my body. I feel so much pressure to make sure I am getting the right nutrients to help him or her grow that I find myself relying on familiar recipes (all of which you already know about).
Another part is that in some ways, I feel like all I do is think about food. I wake up starving, and if I don’t eat every two hours or so, especially in the mornings, I have dizzy spells. David’s favorite joke these days is, “Have you eaten all three of your breakfasts yet?” By the time dinner rolls around, I’m still hungry, but I can’t bear to really think about what to make. So, we have roast chicken and vegetables. Again.
I’ve only found one remedy for this culinary dry spell: baking.

Now, I know that sounds contrary to maternal instinct and, well, just plain good common sense. In order to gain a healthy amount of weight and get the nutrients the growing baby needs, one should avoid refined sugar and high-calorie sweets. So goes the conventional pregnancy-book wisdom.
But, the making of sweet, pretty things makes me so happy. It isn’t really the eating of them — although I won’t lie and say I don’t love that part too. It’s the sheer joy of putting them together.
Perhaps I’m still in holiday mode — my sister-in-law, Hannah, and I had such a lovely time whipping up fun treats in the kitchen, and then, before I knew it, her weeks here had passed and we were all on the road for Christmas celebrating, and then, to move Jon and her to Texas.
Or, maybe, it’s the weather. It has been wet and cold here for weeks on end, and if I don’t see more than one day of sunshine in a row soon, I’m likely to hide under my covers indefinitely. Folks in the Pacific Northwest, my sincere condolences. I don’t know how you do it.
Whatever the reason, after a long, long hiatus, I have not a menu or a quick dinner recipe to offer you, but what has been a bright spot in several a dark, rainy January day for me: a lemon cupcake.
I first made these for our friend Billy’s birthday right before we left for Christmas holidays, and I used the last of the Meyer lemon crop in these parts to make another batch not too long ago. The cake part of this recipe comes from the ever-reliable Rachel at Coconut and Lime: I adapted her Lime & Buttermilk cupcake recipe to suit my hankering for a lemon-only affair. To make the lemon flavor even more pronounced, and because I had some left over from a round of holiday gift-making, I filled the centers with lemon curd. Frosting, in my opinion, should match its partner: heavy buttercream works well with a hefty chocolate cupcake, but for these lighter, lemony ones, I opted for a dollop of plain whipped cream and a garnish of sugared rind.
If you need a pick-me-up in the midst of a hectic schedule, a rainy day, or simply the doldrums of winter, one of these cupcakes might just inject some sunshine into your soul. And if you’re six months pregnant and without the inspiration for a single meal, they might just make you feel like a cook again. Or, maybe that’s just me.
Lemon Sunshine Cupcakes
There are a variety of ways to make filled cupcakes, but most of them require some sort of assembly after the cupcakes are already baked. I wanted to see what happened if the curd baked right along with the cupcake batter. You won’t get a neat pocket of filling right in the middle of your cupcake that way; instead, the curd sort of soaks the whole cake, so that each bite is bursting with lemon flavor. Be forewarned: eating these cupcakes does make for sticky fingers.
For this recipe, I like long, thin strips of lemon zest, which you can get with a claw zester or with a really sharp vegetable peeler.
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 t. baking powder
1/4 t. baking soda
1/4 t. salt
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup butter
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
Juice of 1 large lemon
Zest of 3 large lemons
About 1 cup of Lemon Curd
Half pint of heavy whipping cream
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with baking cups, aluminum or paper, and spray with baking spray. Stir together the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, soda, and salt. With a mixer, cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs and continue beating, until the mixture is well-combined.
Toss half of the zest with a teaspoon of sugar and set aside; stir the rest in with the butter, sugar, and eggs.
Stir the buttermilk and lemon juice together in a glass measuring cup with a pouring spout. With the mixer on low, add the liquid and flour mixtures alternately, until the batter is thick and creamy.
Fill each muffin cup a little less than half-full and make a well in the center. Fill the well with a spoonful of lemon curd. Top with the remaining batter, to cover the curd. Bake for 18-22 minutes, until the tops are just beginning to brown.
When the cupcakes have completely cooled, frost with whipped cream and top with the sugared zest. Keep in the refrigerator until ready to serve.
PS: If you are reading this post, I’d just like to say THANK YOU for returning. After so many glimpses of my very fat cat in a Santa hat on your computer screen, I’d completely understand if you never came back. I truly appreciate all of your comments and emails and the simple fact that you’ve checked in again to see if I’ve managed to post again. I am also terribly behind in responding to those kind comments and emails, so if you’ve written and not heard back from me, please accept my sincere apology for my silence. If pregnancy has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t know what the future holds, so I won’t make any promises I’m not certain I can keep, but I will say that I hope to be a more regular presence, even if it’s just to tell you about another fun sweet that’s emerged from my oven. Just promise you won’t call the pregnancy nutrition police, okay?
PPS: After catching up on my blog reading, I was delighted to discover that Garrett at Vanilla Garlic and Cheryl and the Cupcake Bakeshop are collecting cupcake recipes! Head over to their sites to check out more ways to spend a rainy day baking on January 29th.
January 27th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Just this morning I realized it’d been awhile and made a mental note to check in on you: and here you are! (Thank you, RSS …) So glad to know the absence was ‘just’ baby adjustments. Be well!
January 27th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Glad to see you’re back and that all is well! These cupcakes look SO good. The next time I make from scratch (I’m making boxed cupcakes for a interest group meeting Monday, don’t think medical students would appreciate homemade cupcakes!) I’m going to try these. I LOVE citrus flavors…they are so refereshing! We’ve had lots of rainy weather, too. I guess the Southern winter has finally arrived.
January 27th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Hi, I can’t remember how i came across your blog a couple of weeks ago, but it inspired me. or incited obsession, i’m not sure. but after reading, i just had to start my own, which I did.
your’s caught my attention because i am also from jackson, ms.
i wanted to comment because i had a very similar experience with my pregnancy six years ago. i found that i was constantly hungry but had no appetite. i remember making dinner one night and then having a complete lack of desire to eat it, then making a different dinner altogether.
btw, i have put a link to your site on my blog. i have not done a lot with the blog thus far, I wanted to accumulate some content first.
January 28th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Shrinking brain! Hee!! You’re “nesting” honey. It’ll be OK. And you don’t have to post every day. Many of us don’t. I’m with Alanna - thank God for RSS. When your blog is highlighted I check it out. If not, I read another one. Your cupcake looks delish BTW. Good post.
January 28th, 2007 at 8:21 am
SOOOO Glad that you are back and continue to inspire us all. Hope that you and David are grand — who likes the cupcakes more??? Be well. -JJ
January 28th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
My husband calls me a hobbit since they schedule in “second breakfasts” before moving on to morning coffee, lunch, afternoon tea, etc. etc.
January 28th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
[…] Lemon Sunshine Cupcakes By Jennifer of Weekly Dish […]
January 29th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
It’s so good to see you back here, Jennifer! And your post is just perfect. I’ve been craving a little lemon and a little sunshine myself lately. WELCOME BACK!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:33 am
Shrinking brain! Third breakfast! Loose organization! Not to worry, it really is the normal course of affairs.
You should be eating four breakfasts now because after baby you probably won’t get one hot.
Oh, even with all that, it’s such a beautiful time! Take care. Mostly you really don’t need to worry. Our bodies really do beautiful jobs with babies. We’ve pretty well perfected it over so many years.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Awww am glad to hear that all is going well, even if your brain is shrinking - which I didn’t know about and am, quite frankly, freaked out about.. even though I’m not pregnant and never will be.. but the thought of your brain shrinking and oh my.. wasn’t I suppose to be commenting on your very cute cupcakes and how damn good they sound?!
Well they are and they do!
Happy baby baking!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:31 am
What a lovely post–and the pictures of the cupcake are so nice. Brain shrinking? Surely not!!!
:)
January 31st, 2007 at 1:13 pm
So nice to read a post from you and the cupcakes look really good.
heather
February 9th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
how much butter? I went with half a cup but I wasn’t sure…
March 19th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Yikes!
Wendy (above) suggested a half cup of butter… i’m in the middle of making them and I triple hope that it works!
Let me know!
Thanks!
March 19th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Sorry everyone for leaving out the butter quantity — I used 3/4 cup and have corrected it in the recipe.
I guess the shrinking brain rumors must be true!
April 4th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Whoa…I somehow missed that you were pregnant. Guess I’ve been absent a lot (was having a baby myself). Let me know if you ever need baby advice (assuming this is your first). Having just had one there’s a lot to learn! I used to get annoyed by everyone always saying “just remember it’s worth it.” Now I know why they all say that. It’s because it’s really hard at times and that’s their way of being nice and saying that it will out work out no matter what happens. Anyway, I could talk about babies all day. On another note, I made your lemon muffins and I’m posting right now with a link to your recipe. So good I made them twice in one week! Best of luck!
September 8th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
[…] Somehow I managed to totally miss August. I’m really getting concerned about how fast time is going. A lot happened in August. Kevin and I celebrated our first anniversary on the first. Kyle turned 8 and Phaedra turned 4. We bought a new (used) car and drove to the interior. Kev and I biked with Phaedra around Kelowna, while the boys were at Mom and Dad’s. We never managed to make blackberry jam. We still haven’t had our garage sale that we’ve been meaning to have. We haven’t even managed a party for Kyle and his birthday was 2 weeks ago. Now it is September, and the kids are back in school. At least the boys are. Phaedra has preschool through the community centre, and with the city workers on strike there is no preschool. Everyone is hopeful that next week might see a resolution. Cameron is in grade 4 this year, at a new school. Kyle is in grade 3, still at the annex. The annex only goes up to grade 3, then the kids move up to the “main” school. Quite a change going from less than 100 kids to over 400. Cameron’s school is quite a bit farther than the annex, so he has to leave around 8:15 every morning. So far it hasn’t been a problem, but he likes to sleep until 8 so we might run into trouble down the road. He is walking up with a group of friends from the co-op. I still walk Kyle up, but he really wants to do it on his own. Unfortunately there aren’t many other kids in the co-op going to the annex right now. Kevin and I are living caffeine free until Christmas. We started almost 3 weeks ago, just after we got back from the interior. We don’t consume a lot, mostly from chocolate. And we do consume a lot of chocolate… I’ve had to switch to decaf tea, and we’ve cut out all iced tea, coffee, pop with caffeine, chocolate, and non-drowsy meds. We are only going until Christmas because it’s just wrong to have Christmas with no chocolate… Lacking chocolate, I’ve been needing more baked goods. Top of my list right now are lemon sunshine cupcakes. The lemon curd for the recipe is divine. I could eat it all on it’s own… And have! I’ve made the cupcakes 3 times and have yet managed to ice them. Kyle wants them for his birthday. Speaking of Kyle’s birthday, we are planning to have a little party for him in a week or so. He’s going to invite two friends over for a sleepover, order whatever food he wants, and watch a movie or two late into the night. First we need to have that garage sale to get rid of all the things in their room that they don’t play with anymore… […]
March 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
[…] Last week, when this urge struck, I found a bag of Meyer lemons calling out to me, as they so often do to waken me from my winter slumber, and they asked, quite emphatically, to be made into a simple cake. […]